Long hard 11 miles

I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weekend and choose a new route that would motivate me to complete 10 miles. Mostly because i wanted to know that i hadn't thrown all my hard work away. I have taken the last several weeks (5 to be exact) basically to a stand still, compared to my training it felt as though i was blowing off the whole month. I had at the most finished a couple of 5 mile runs since the 1/2 marathon. I think i just needed time away from it. Time to gather thoughts and not stress about miles i was supposed to be doing. So i chose a route by my house that i could go part my car and basically do and out and back. There was a gigantic hill at the beginning that I knew would really challenge me. I guess I felt as though I had something to prove, to myself anyway. Heading down i realized this is a really huge hill, as i was heading up it at about mile 2 i noticed that my heart rate was at 165 so i began to walk, my heart rate is an important reminder of how much my heart is working, and if walking up this hill has my heart rate between 160-170 I'll continue to walk. Made my way to the top and began running again and felt pretty solid, i got a tad cocky at mile 5 and decided to go to 5.33 before turning around (this bit me hard at the end) for some reason i kept telling myself i have that downhill to look forward to should be a pretty easy run back so i'll go ahead and push myself now. Headed back i was feeling great up until somewhere about 6-1/2 miles i felt soooo bloated I looked down at my protruding stomach and started talking shit to myself saying I had no business running and being such a fat ass. What was I thinking coming out here and doing this, I shouldn't be running I'm too fucking fat to do this. I was pretty upset. Then I decided to forget those thoughts and keep running I kept looking at my pace and thinking wow i'm like 10 min behind where i wanted to be and that time is increasing. By 8.5 i decided to write my husband and let him know how far i'd come and that i was fine. Reaching mile 9 i passed a dead car on the road that already had a ticket on it, so must have been there for days. Some guy .25 miles past that car pulls over to ask me if that was my car i'd left behind. (REALLY?) do I look like I have no business out here running? Do i look pathetic? Do I look like someone that is looking for help? DO you not realize i'm fucking dressed to be out here running? I realize now that he was only probably trying to help but for the love of God i couldn't help but think negative thoughts. By mile 9 I knew it was gonna be hard to finish this run. Mile 10, uh oh i'm still like a mile from the car, well I'm walking this last mile cuz i think I'm about to die. This last mile everything hurt and I was overwhelmed with the ideas that I should not ever run again, I'll just stick with short distances from now on. Don't we all try to rationalize at the end. So enough of that ranting. I realized that about 4 hours after that long run although i felt as though i wasn't going to finish, i was recovering quite well. I was a little sore ( my plantars fac especially) and this morning it was tough to walk but i was proud i'd done it. But I also now respect my body enough to now know that after several weeks of not much I should not push, in fact i realized soon after that I would have been better off doing a great strong 6 mile run instead of dragging myself thru 11 miles. Lesson learned.

Time OUT

Sorry for the delay in blogging; it's now been one month since my 1/2 marathon and the longest run i've done since has been 5 miles. WTF? yep i hit a huge slump and i thought i was in a great place. Oh well, i have no regrets. I've enjoyed my time off and I've had Roller Derby twice a week to keep my heart rate up. The weather has played a bit of a part in my lack of motivation too. Yesterday's snow totals here about 12" jeez who can run in that? I'm not paying for a gym membership so i can run on the dreadmill i'd rather just take a day or two off. This whole month has been without my step daughter (18) here to help with baby. If Greg is traveling it has made it damn near impossible to get out. The good news : I have not gained a single pound and I recently read this book : Skinny Bitch and it describes in much too much detail where our meat,dairy,eggs come from. Which pretty much brought me to tears and i have totally adapted to a Vegan diet and whole grains. Not really sure that i'm following any sort of plan but i'm keeping track of calories in and burned thru a new free website I discovered thru my Shape magazine, it's their virtual trainer and it basically calculates for you what cal you need/burn during the day and has a big tracker that shows you when you hit the right zone for weight loss which i have found kind of fun to try and acheive. Couldn't go to Derby at all this week as hubby is gone and i've got absolutely no sitter, today i jumped on the elliptical and well didn't plan it quite well enough to do during nap time so i had her running around with me and that's fine I got 55 min in and it felt great. Not sure where this leads me to but I just thought i better throw up a quick update. I'm hopeful that with proper nutrition and exercise now I should have some success and get myself sub 200!!! wish me luck...
My motivators this week that i purchased: Garmin 405 and a Jogging Stroller.........I'll let you know how they work out. I have no more excuses if hubby isn't here now. :) building my circle of no fail!!!

Post Race

I have definitely hit the after the BIG one blues, I didn't do anything exercise related for one hole week. Then and only then did i allow myself to go play derby (and as we are getting better the workout i get from it gets greater) this past monday we did what they call 25/5 which is 25 laps in 5 min and I did 24.75 a girl got in my way, but besides that I had never tried this before and wasn't sure i'd even come that close. I cannot believe how much farther along I am this year at Derby than I was 2-1/2 yrs ago when i first started. (only played 6 months then got pregnant). I still have soooo much energy after practice that I think this summer I'll be riding my bike and/or running after. I woke this morning to find myself with my first cold in nearly a decade. Yep usually I don't get sick, my husband has never seen me sick in the almost 5 yrs that we have been together. So I'm sure I'll get over it but dang. I am excited to announce that my next half marathon is exactly 16 wks away. So i went to Runner's world and created a custom plan and it's motivating me enough to get back out there and stick to the plan, I work so much better when i have a plan on paper (silly i know, but it works for me) I also have rec'd a library of books from the biggest loser and plan to get deep into the pages to help myself take off these stubborn 50 lbs. Funny that last may when i started running i just thought I could count my calories and do my running and I would still lose, i have now come to the realization that Jillian Michaels is right, it's the quality of the calories you put in that matter. See i still drink alcohol (too much at times) and i still eat at fast food restaurants, still buy junk food and my fridge is lacking green anything and you guessed it, there is no fruit in the house, so how can i expect to succeed if i have set my surroundings up to fail, oh i did make it through my 1/2 marathon and I'm so proud of that but i know i can do better this time.......so off to reading i go. I will fill you in on my progress. Now off to nurture this cold..........