Crazy Beautiful Half/Full Marathon Training Bitch and Roller Derby Referee

2011-03-24T11:10:00.000-06:00

test

i am on a mission, i want this blog to become a vlog and so here is a test video to see how things work. Hope you guys enjoy. I kept it on here cuz parker is so cute.

I forgot to mention that I am in search of a body bugg too so that i can track calories out mostly. I love using my smartphone to upload food especially with the barcode scanner option. So easy not to fail. I am trying my best to surround myself with the right tools. In the video i mentioned it's hard to fit in workouts with the babies and hubby traveling. It is extremely difficult. juggling naps and diapers and potty training. I do have a 11 yr old that can occasionally help out but she of course goes to school during the day. So i think one of my only options is to wake my ass up at the crack of dawn which is my enemy. I'm going to HAVE to. I do not see any other way to do it while hubs is gone. So wish me luck and I will vlog once a week and report weight loss too. It will give me some accountability.

fit but fat

2011-02-17T11:26:00.000-07:00

so in addition to signing up for a full marathon in Oct 2011, I am taking extreme measures to ensure that i am at a healthier weight when i train. In order to do so I decided to challenge myself (extremely challenge) with p90x. I am doing the p90x lean program as it is designed specifically for more weight loss. I am also trying to adjust my way of eating. I read something in the nutrition guide that said if you can't eat right you may as well not workout either, it struck a chord with me, it went on to explain that if you are going to do this right you must eat right too. I am notorious for eating horribly. It also stated that if you do this program and continue to eat the way you do......you will ultimately be fit, but you won't look it. That is exactly what i needed to hear , I am the poster child for being fit but looking fat. I spent years eating crap. In fact looking back to even highschool when I was swimming 2x's a day with the team.. i ate shit, and I was trim but never looked like an athlete. So learning to eat correctly has been my biggest life challenge. I'm not say ing it's my parents fault. But that was where i should have learned to eat properly, right? So it's one of those things that I must learn on my own and pass on to my kiddos, especially now that there are 2 more lil one's. speaking of which I thought i better post some new photos of Jack.

This week I got my full release from my OB so that's why I began the p90x. Later today I will take measurements and before photos.

Just realized i need to change my header since I am now going to be doing full marathon.

My baby boy is here!

2011-02-03T00:36:00.000-07:00

Well not exactly new news because he is 4wks old already. It is the hardest thing that I have ever done. I don't just mean being a new mom, I mean breast-feeding and raising a toddler too. Lord. ( well to be accurate I have a 10 yr old too, and Hubby's 19 yro lives here too ) It's alot to deal with and I have days where my patience for another missed potty training day makes me cry. I have days where I feel like a super woman and actually get laundry, cooking, workouts, tanning, cleaning kitchen done and still have energy to put this boy to sleep. The last week has been the most challenging, he really has no interest in going to sleep at night, in fact he would prefer to just scream and tell me so until about 2 or 3 in the morning. Last night I fell asleep crying as i gazed at the clock at 3:45 and held my breath that he would sleep for hours. Somehow I woke up today and ended up having a fantastic day. Should've taken a big nap but that's tough to do when you think you are superwoman. My eldest turns 11 tomorrow and I ordered an electric guitar for her. I am very blessed to be able to do things like that for her.

On a running note: I spent most the morning and afternoon daydreaming of running my first full marathon. The Twin Cities Marathon registration opening was today and I found myself wondering Was it possible? Did I have time? will my plantar return? I stared at the registration form most the day, inbetween coordinating some craiglist sales and some other freecycle things I promised. It has been below zero here and honestly it's days like this that I'm glad it's too early to be running because it would just be tempting me. I feel less guilty this way. Anyway at the end of the day after speaking with my husband, he says go for it! I know you will be able to do it. So I hung up and filled out the form. He is right, I can do this. I have 37 weeks to prepare.......

It's Official! I have made it on the Roller Derby Roster

2010-12-01T12:06:00.000-07:00

Just checked out the website that shows the main Roller Derby Roster (it's been a 6 month process) but my name is now my own and registered to the site so nobody can use it. :) this marks a great day! I have no real updates on the running side of this 8 month pregnant body. But I have enjoyed the fact that this is my last child and therefore my last pregnancy. I have a 10 yro and a 2yro that are both girls and this one will be my boy. So very excited for that. I have tried to see this pregnancy as my healthiest yet, i ran well into the 6th month and then just been sticking to yoga and somedays the eliptical and other DVD pregnancy videos but nothing consistant and nothing more than 2xs per week. I have recently been put on medication for Gestational diabetes that crept back into my life. I made it 5 wks farther in this pregnancy without it so I consider that great progress. Now that blood sugars are back to normal levels I am feeling confident this baby is still growing at a much faster pace than the girls. Ultrasound yest shows that this boy is 5 lb 13oz already that's about 2 wks ahead of schedule. :) I scheduled the c-section with dr ok one week early. jan 4 as of now. I think that my preopp appt on dec 28th will prove to be the actual surgery date though. But that's between me and my boy. :). Potty training the 2yro currently is just one of the little challenges i have going on at home. My 10yro failing miserably in her efforts to give a good book report. they have 5 this year and the first one she failed, the second one she was not prepared with instructions and I went the day before her presentation to beg for instructions that she claimed she either lost or never got. UGH!!! I am also on day two of having converted baby crib to a toddler bed so she now has the freedom to get out, which i must say has gone rather well. 2 full nites and 1 full nap success without incedent. Husband continues to travel all the time and I find myself wishing and wanting the work life again. I crave interaction and problems solving that doesn't have to do with my home life. How do I balance it all? well only time and discussions with my therapist can help me now. I'm trying not to get to overly attached to the idea that I may work outside the home and raise kids in daycare ( hubby is highly opposed to this idea).And apparently I do not live in reality to expect to go to school anytime soon to persue an RN degree that's just not possible, after mon-fri staying home with kids and working nights and weekends seeing time to fit school in too? how do people do it? I'm really sitting here shaking my head as to how to raise a family and have a successful marriage and also want things for myself. Seriously, what is that supposed to look like?

Better shape in my 40's

2010-09-15T10:29:00.000-06:00

23 weeks and feeling Large. It's a BOY

I've gotten out a few times in the last couple of weeks and it is getting difficult to run I feel like the pressure on my bottom might leave a baby on the side walk. It's funny that it still takes about a mile before I feel like my body says "oh ok we will tight up this belly and let you run" this past run I was just getting out to do 2 miles nothing major I've got to slowly build back up after taking like 5 wks off after my last 5K. So I walked at a fast pace that first mile then when second mile came and i turned around I would walk 2 min and run 1 just to get that HR up a tad. I felt good once I got home that I'd actually gone and done it. Even though it's still been pretty warm to be out I was anxious. I've also got this wonderful DVD for pregnancy workout that was designed by this women who is an acrobat and wanted to do something to stay in shape during pregnancy so she could return quickly. It entails alot of squats and leg work which is a perfect combo for a runner/ derby girl such as myself but only once a week have I been doing that. I figure one day of the DVD and one day of a couple miles is a great strarting point and each week a little more even if it's a walk with the 2yro in stroller. I also went thru our kitchen 2 wks ago and got rid of everything in the house that contained 5g > sugar or more and anything with high fructose corn syrup. I am now a firm believer that it isn't helping anyone in our house anymore we are all pretty much overweight and I thought if I removed the temptations I could show everyone Love in a different way especially my girls 10 and 2. Hubs of course appreciates it too as he's gained since we married and is a non-athlete type so for him it will be difficult to lose without changing eating habits and he loves loves loves sugar. I'm anxious and excited for this boy to make his way into this world. Yes it's a boy and I'm excited in a different way than I was with the girls. I can't even explain it. I am now 23 weeks and have gained 16 lbs which is about ave. so I'm trying to be very cautious and not go too crazy as I have several weeks left and typical weight gain comes at the end. yikes. Did you know that even tho women who breastfeed burn extra cal it also has a chemical release in our brains to slow down our metabolism at the same time so in affect BF really doesn't help you lose weight faster. Interesting isn't it? Since this is our last child I get to have my tubes tied and I am super excited to do it. I am looking forward to never wondering again. :) I'm excited that I'm at this age where I've got my babies and I am not too old to push my body to limits it never knew before. I always said I wanted to be in better shape in my 40's than I was in my 20 and 30's and so far that is gonna be true. This is by far the healthiest pregnancy I've had thus far and I owe it to the year I ran before getting pregnant it changed everything. I'm just getting started. I mean I ran a 1/2 marathon and did my first Triathlon within 6 months of each other. INCREDIBLE to be 40 and fantastic. :)

Manassa 5K & 24th Celebration

2010-08-04T09:05:00.000-06:00

This was my second year pregnant and doing this race, last year unfortunately I lost that baby. This year however I was about 4 months and feeling pregnant. I was fortunate enough to beable to run it with my step-daughter #353 and her BFF Haley #352 (this was their first race ever) They were so excited and nervous all at the same time. Not every race you do begins with dynamite. Wow that'll get the blood going. I think this year there were about 400 participants and another record year. It's so fun to see all the people on this particular weekend. I think about 10,000 ppl line the streets of this small town (home of Jack Dempsey). Every year around this time. The girls met me at the end as they left me in the dust and I expected to be back there just listening to my body tell me when it was ready to walk and run (no watch this time) had no idea how fast I was going and it didn't matter to me. Just wanted to be a finisher and healthy. I finished at about 47 min so as you can see not my best time, the girls well they ran the whole way without stopping and I'm so proud of them both Haley finished at 31 min and was so excited to run the whole thing she lost her place at the finish and tried to convince them what her time was (this is an old school race, no timers just a guy with a stop watch at the end) lol. my step daughter finished at about 35 min and was happy to have it behind her so she now knows she is capable. My 10yro came in about .25 mile to meet me and run in the finish with me. I'm looking forward to her getting older and running the whole thing with me. :) on the upside, this high altitude race (8900 ft) next year will not be raced with me pregnant. :) looking forward to crushing the 42 min from the year before. my PR for a 5K in Castle rock was over thanksgiving when I finally broke 40 min. 38: 56 actually. :)
I never imagined a couple yrs ago that I'd be pregnant and running but it's been fun and I've been so healthy because of it. No blood pressure meds, no high blood sugars all on the up and up.
I was recently diagnosed with bipolar disorder however and that will be interesting to see how with medication after I'm done breastfeeding how that will effect my life. I'm also planning on visiting and endocrinologist to have a full panel blood work done so that I can try and understand why my body won't let go of extra weight. Our normal Dr looks at thyroid ranges completely different than an endo so I'm excited to hear what she has to say. I plan on breastfeeding for about 6 months this time as opposed to 1 yr with my other daughter now 21 months. (long before the teeth this time :) ).

yes baby yes

2010-07-12T12:13:00.000-06:00

I am 14wks preggers tomorrow, hard to believe that much time has passed and that's probably how long it's been since my last update. Thanks for being patient. I have been feeling really good about 12 weeks along i noticed that the second trimester energy was just around the corner. I was in MN for two weeks and my second trimester was in full swing which was a good thing because i ended up helping my sister move into her first house as a single mother. Divorce is finally coming. I was proud to be there. She was at my mother's house and it was pure hell our stepfather (if you can call him that when it happens when your like 19) is a pain in the ass. smoking in the house daily leaving the dog crap in the living room or wherever. It's disgusting and i couldn't help myself by saying so this visit. I'm like how do you ppl live like this. MOM if i had the cash i'd be in a hotel. Luckely we were able to move to my sisters 2 days after arrival. Do you think either one of them lifted a finger. NOPE. that's right it's like 100 out and my sister and me (pregnant) proceed to fill a truck and her car with all the beds. (4) and bring them to the new house. Aside from that drama I did have some pregnancy bleeding about week 10 and was on orders to not exert myself for 2 wks which meant no running. So that two weeks was up right before i left for MN and got one run in and then headed north. We drove for 2 days and it was quite easy. my daughters were with 10 and 21 months. perfect age to help with baby the whole way. thank you portable dvd player!! I did manage to run a few times while in MN/WI too and it was hot and muggy. Now back and home and looking through the runners' mag that just came and looking ahead to next years race plans already. Very exciting and motivating to do that. Next weekend we go to Manassa for the 24th celebration and I will run the 5K just like last year altho it's a killer cuz it's at like 8000 ft and it's hard. I hope to finish in the 40 min area and not going to break records and won't pregnant just like to finish strong. Hope the weather isn't too warm. The parade that weekend is always a crowd pleaser and with Parker at 21 months now she will enjoy the heck out of it. I just realized i haven't been on a bike or in the pool since last sept when i did my tri. that's something to regain next spring too. can't wait.

Week Wrap Up

2010-04-21T10:44:00.000-06:00

It has been awhile since I discussed my worst enemy: Food: I have currently in my mitts a copy of "Skinny Bitch" and let me tell you it is eye opening what happens to our food before it gets to the store, lets just say I took away a few things from this book. I'll try not to harp do much about this but It must be said that after years of having it drilled into my head I am a firm believer now that we are not designed to drink milk much past the age of 1. I am in full agreement that milk from the mother as you are a baby is designed to double your weight and put you on a path full of good vitamins etc... much like a calf. I was fortunate enough to breast feed my baby for one full year and then she switched to sippy cups and Organic Whole Milk only. That being said, I'm not going to discuss the "milking process" here as you can read the book and make your own decisions about meat and dairy. I have not completely cut meat and dairy out, but i have cut out a considerable amount out of my diet and I am much more in favor of things being Organic.The fact that this book actually has me actively thinking about what goes in and how hard I have to work to process it has been life changing and I hope to pass this on to my two girls. Although I have not noticed any weight loss from making small changes I feel better knowing that i'm feeding my body less processed/full of chemicals food. I am sure in time the loss will come. I have noticed this past week that although once again the scale is stuck at 210. I have again shifted where my fat spots are. My legs are getting sooo much stronger. My shins seem to have returned to my youthfull 20 something shape and better even. My knees are starting to say here i am! when I lay down and put my legs in the air I can see the potential of what they could look like without the fat suit, when i squat now you can just feel solid muscle, and I have added about 3 hours of skating per week and it's starting to pay off. I started near the end of January and 3 months had made a huge difference.

On a running/foot note: I have finished one week of intense therapy on my plantar fac foot and wearing a brace each night to bed, so far it seems that its working. I feel really good in the morning after removing brace and walking to bathroom pain free is like taking a deep breath in the ocean air. I have put on some miles this past week too. on Sat I allowed myself to do a quick short run and my ave pace was 13:03 that's like 2 min faster than anything i ran all last year on a practice run day. I actually did my first tempo run. Out fast and back faster. I iced when i got home and actively tried to not rest too much so it wouldn't tighten, then sunday I met another ref from the team and we ran 7 miles. Ave pace 14 something. and we had a huge hill after mile 2 and then a super fun downhill that we ran in about 10 min. it's fun to feel what running that fast feels like I remember yelling back to her and saying this is what an 11 min mile feels like isn't it awesome? She was at a 6 mile block so it was fun to push her past that wall and actually do 7, I hope she's proud cuz she did awesome, we did awesome!! She has since quit the derby team,but i think we will continue to run together. Sure makes those long runs fun! and the past month I haven't once thought oh I so don't want to go run. It's felt great to get my mojo back.

On another personal note we are actively trying to get pregnant before I can't have anymore, it's been 7 months since our miscarriage and after much thought we have decided that Parker would probably benefit from having a sibling close in age to her as my daughter is 10 yrs older than her and is having fun now, but as soon as she becomes a teenager the baby fun will be worn off and she will have no interest in her little sister anymore. It is so much fun planning to have a child with someone you love it's the most incredible gift seeing those two lines show up. I got to experience that twice and I'm ready for it to happen again with him. We are allowing ourselves to actively try for about 5 months and then we will stop, it does get exhausting as I'm sure most of you know. I'm sure once we stop trying we will then get pregnant which will be all before turning 41 and sounds perfect to me, my heart is not set on it though, i feel blessed already and another is a miracle. If it's not meant to happen then it's not meant to happen right? either way I will beable to move again at 41 and have no regrets. :) after my birthday in Jan i will go have the in office procedure to block my tubes and I will not have to get on the stupid pill. I think hubs is gonna get the big V also. Then we can both move forward and know we did what we wanted to do. :)

Half Marathon that wasn't

2010-04-12T10:05:00.000-06:00

Found out this week that the Half Marathon I was training for in June was a lottery. Ha ha wouldn't you know it. Oh well I chat with a few of you and you assure me that it isn't worth another thought (thanks Ron). So I put myself in his shoes and say NEXT. I will find another to replace that one and be stronger because of it. I have run 2 more long runs since the 11 mile killer hill. I felt proud of that too. I still look back and that day felt like I ran a half marathon and that's because I almost did. I certainly know that i put less effort into my half marathon race than i did on that 11 mile day. So last weekend i ran 7. Had an idea in my head that i would go run around this one neighborhood here and so i plotted it out and saw that it would be about 7 miles and I knew there was a long slow incline hill in there somewhere, I found it at mile 2 :) and although i couldn't see where the hill ended I allowed my HRM to be my guide. 160 and above was my walking zone. I made it to the top finally and feeling good that a ran/walked up that hill. Bonus it's all downhill and flat from here all the way to the car. I finally caught up to my pacer (on my garmin) right before cooling down. But that didn't matter to me i was having fun running 10 min miles at times during that downhill flat part. It felt great to move my legs that fast for the first time. I had a ton of energy at the end which told me i could have probably run up that entire hill. Well next time. This weekend was gorgeous and i had agreed to meet another Ref that I"m on Derby with.She thought she was insane to go with me as she has never run more than 6 miles. So we went the same place i went the weekend before except we did not to the big big hill, instead ran around the neighborhood and hit the trails for a couple miles, the afternoon was hot hot hot. we ave 16 min miles, but it didn't matter to me I was happy to have the company and it never felt like work, I think she felt that way too, she said that was the easiest 700 cal i've burned in a long time. so i have a feeling that i will have a new sunday partner even if she bails early on my long days or better yet she pushes herself to go longer. We ended our afternoon at 6 miles and i think that was a ton of fun. I remembered most of my training that about every third week the mileage can go down, so next week will be a big one again. I'm looking forward to that, running is less of a chore these days and I'm really thankful for that. I was in a slump for about a month in a half and now i feel myself rising above it. I guess Spring is officially here. Time for the high heels and pedicures and toe rings again.Yay!! Derby tonight and let's see what tues brings.

Long hard 11 miles

2010-03-29T11:17:00.000-06:00

I decided to take advantage of the beautiful weekend and choose a new route that would motivate me to complete 10 miles. Mostly because i wanted to know that i hadn't thrown all my hard work away. I have taken the last several weeks (5 to be exact) basically to a stand still, compared to my training it felt as though i was blowing off the whole month. I had at the most finished a couple of 5 mile runs since the 1/2 marathon. I think i just needed time away from it. Time to gather thoughts and not stress about miles i was supposed to be doing. So i chose a route by my house that i could go part my car and basically do and out and back. There was a gigantic hill at the beginning that I knew would really challenge me. I guess I felt as though I had something to prove, to myself anyway. Heading down i realized this is a really huge hill, as i was heading up it at about mile 2 i noticed that my heart rate was at 165 so i began to walk, my heart rate is an important reminder of how much my heart is working, and if walking up this hill has my heart rate between 160-170 I'll continue to walk. Made my way to the top and began running again and felt pretty solid, i got a tad cocky at mile 5 and decided to go to 5.33 before turning around (this bit me hard at the end) for some reason i kept telling myself i have that downhill to look forward to should be a pretty easy run back so i'll go ahead and push myself now. Headed back i was feeling great up until somewhere about 6-1/2 miles i felt soooo bloated I looked down at my protruding stomach and started talking shit to myself saying I had no business running and being such a fat ass. What was I thinking coming out here and doing this, I shouldn't be running I'm too fucking fat to do this. I was pretty upset. Then I decided to forget those thoughts and keep running I kept looking at my pace and thinking wow i'm like 10 min behind where i wanted to be and that time is increasing. By 8.5 i decided to write my husband and let him know how far i'd come and that i was fine. Reaching mile 9 i passed a dead car on the road that already had a ticket on it, so must have been there for days. Some guy .25 miles past that car pulls over to ask me if that was my car i'd left behind. (REALLY?) do I look like I have no business out here running? Do i look pathetic? Do I look like someone that is looking for help? DO you not realize i'm fucking dressed to be out here running? I realize now that he was only probably trying to help but for the love of God i couldn't help but think negative thoughts. By mile 9 I knew it was gonna be hard to finish this run. Mile 10, uh oh i'm still like a mile from the car, well I'm walking this last mile cuz i think I'm about to die. This last mile everything hurt and I was overwhelmed with the ideas that I should not ever run again, I'll just stick with short distances from now on. Don't we all try to rationalize at the end. So enough of that ranting. I realized that about 4 hours after that long run although i felt as though i wasn't going to finish, i was recovering quite well. I was a little sore ( my plantars fac especially) and this morning it was tough to walk but i was proud i'd done it. But I also now respect my body enough to now know that after several weeks of not much I should not push, in fact i realized soon after that I would have been better off doing a great strong 6 mile run instead of dragging myself thru 11 miles. Lesson learned.

Time OUT

2010-03-24T18:06:00.000-06:00

Sorry for the delay in blogging; it's now been one month since my 1/2 marathon and the longest run i've done since has been 5 miles. WTF? yep i hit a huge slump and i thought i was in a great place. Oh well, i have no regrets. I've enjoyed my time off and I've had Roller Derby twice a week to keep my heart rate up. The weather has played a bit of a part in my lack of motivation too. Yesterday's snow totals here about 12" jeez who can run in that? I'm not paying for a gym membership so i can run on the dreadmill i'd rather just take a day or two off. This whole month has been without my step daughter (18) here to help with baby. If Greg is traveling it has made it damn near impossible to get out. The good news : I have not gained a single pound and I recently read this book : Skinny Bitch and it describes in much too much detail where our meat,dairy,eggs come from. Which pretty much brought me to tears and i have totally adapted to a Vegan diet and whole grains. Not really sure that i'm following any sort of plan but i'm keeping track of calories in and burned thru a new free website I discovered thru my Shape magazine, it's their virtual trainer and it basically calculates for you what cal you need/burn during the day and has a big tracker that shows you when you hit the right zone for weight loss which i have found kind of fun to try and acheive. Couldn't go to Derby at all this week as hubby is gone and i've got absolutely no sitter, today i jumped on the elliptical and well didn't plan it quite well enough to do during nap time so i had her running around with me and that's fine I got 55 min in and it felt great. Not sure where this leads me to but I just thought i better throw up a quick update. I'm hopeful that with proper nutrition and exercise now I should have some success and get myself sub 200!!! wish me luck...
My motivators this week that i purchased: Garmin 405 and a Jogging Stroller.........I'll let you know how they work out. I have no more excuses if hubby isn't here now. :) building my circle of no fail!!!

Post Race

2010-03-03T12:06:00.000-07:00

I have definitely hit the after the BIG one blues, I didn't do anything exercise related for one hole week. Then and only then did i allow myself to go play derby (and as we are getting better the workout i get from it gets greater) this past monday we did what they call 25/5 which is 25 laps in 5 min and I did 24.75 a girl got in my way, but besides that I had never tried this before and wasn't sure i'd even come that close. I cannot believe how much farther along I am this year at Derby than I was 2-1/2 yrs ago when i first started. (only played 6 months then got pregnant). I still have soooo much energy after practice that I think this summer I'll be riding my bike and/or running after. I woke this morning to find myself with my first cold in nearly a decade. Yep usually I don't get sick, my husband has never seen me sick in the almost 5 yrs that we have been together. So I'm sure I'll get over it but dang. I am excited to announce that my next half marathon is exactly 16 wks away. So i went to Runner's world and created a custom plan and it's motivating me enough to get back out there and stick to the plan, I work so much better when i have a plan on paper (silly i know, but it works for me) I also have rec'd a library of books from the biggest loser and plan to get deep into the pages to help myself take off these stubborn 50 lbs. Funny that last may when i started running i just thought I could count my calories and do my running and I would still lose, i have now come to the realization that Jillian Michaels is right, it's the quality of the calories you put in that matter. See i still drink alcohol (too much at times) and i still eat at fast food restaurants, still buy junk food and my fridge is lacking green anything and you guessed it, there is no fruit in the house, so how can i expect to succeed if i have set my surroundings up to fail, oh i did make it through my 1/2 marathon and I'm so proud of that but i know i can do better this time.......so off to reading i go. I will fill you in on my progress. Now off to nurture this cold..........

Jacksonville Half Marathon

2010-02-24T14:12:00.000-07:00

I will do my best to sum up my experience and not bore you to tears. We arrived shortly after Tiger Woods gave his TV apology (yes we did hotwire.com and got great rates at Sawgrass) Saturday afternoon we went for a short 2 mile run just to get legs moving. Felt great. Sunday awake 4:30 am, shower eat granola mixed with yogurt. 5:15 leave hotel arrive at shuttle location and wait in a long line for the shuttle. 6:45 arrive at runners world staging area. Check a bag and pin on our numbers and we are ready to line up. Our bibs are color coordinated so we wait in the staging area until our color makes there way to the line approximately 10,000 runners today should be exciting. Hear a speach from Joan Benoit (olympic gold medalist) and a quick speech from Donna.........we are off.

1:30 til we reach the start line so now i'm running.......

mile 1 heading up on ramp and feeling really good heading onto hwy 202 (they shut down one entire side of freeway)
mile 2 on bridge and seems like alot of it is uphill (note to self that'll be fun coming back over right before the end) notice i'm surrounded by Galloway Pacers.....check out which one (5:30 pacer) PERFECT I am aiming toward 2:45 for my half. and we're walking. even tho i don't feel like walking i know i need to force myself to because this is going to be a long race
mile 3 still hanging with the pacers and feeling really good and checking my pace tattoo and we are dead on. Impressive I think I will do pace groups all the time
mile 4 yep still with pace group and we are not off the freeway and headed down suburban jacksonville, the people here are so supportive, wait was that a garage band wow this is amazing.......what a fun city...
mile 5 you guessed it I am still with pace group and because I know we are on track I don't find myself doing any crazy mind wandering. I really like having someone say walk.........................5...4....3....2....1.. run come on let's move it. starting to feel a little militaryish but i think i kinda like it..........
mile 6 oh no the sand..........yuck.......all i can think of is don't fill your shoes with sand it sucks... Too late...wait we are almost half way. Sweet.........focus...........oh no there goes my pacers.................ugh now it's just me. Should've just done 26.2 so i can keep going. kidding
mile 6 after 2 miles on sand (or at least that's what i was told) I'm ready to hit the streets again. (ok not too much sand at least i don't feel too much)
Mile 7 kinda fuzzy on this one, I think much of it was due to trying to figure out how i can continue to pace myself without the group. well back to my own style feeling myself settle in. Feels great omg there are spectator support people out on their balconies all along here, people handing out gatorade, lemonade, water, you name it.
Mile 8 BATHROOM............yep i'm doin it..........leaving a big one in the port-a-let. Ok feeling great, wait now i'm feeling a little tight. sitting was not a good idea plus now my pants feel as though they are not quite where they were before. oh well back to running. See girls with flower headbands I think they were pretty much on pace with the pace group I'll stick around them. yeah....
Mile 9 I'm about 4 min off my pace tattoo i think from what I remember. I'm thinking at this point i was hurting in my other 10 mile race i'd done and i'm not feeling it yet so this is good. Just hitting my groove, walking when i feel like it and running when i feel good
Mile 10 starting to notice inside of my arms are rubbing the three layers I have on, starting to notice my hands are swelling up and it's starting to really bug me
Mile 11 Is that a huge blister on the ball of my foot? oh god it surely is just my sock bunching up isn't it? stop to check and pull sock tight.....can't run i'm in pain this is excruciating I feel like the balls of my feet are on fire I look around at everyone else surely someone else feels this way don't they? OMG it's killing me, walking up bridge I think the inner part of my arms might break open..........OH gross the one on my right foot just popped and ooozed all over my toes............but wait that was relief........
Mile 12 because that blister popped i found myself able to run again..........saying come on just one mile like this before it blisters again. This is nothing compared to women who went thru chemotherapy, surely I can get thru this with blistered feet.........I realized that at mile 11 it was still under my time i did for my 10 miler which puts me in good position now i'm shooting for under 3 hours..........
Mile 13 I know I can do this. I just keep thinking don't walk cuz in the end when it's 3:01 you'll kick yourself.........go.........go ..........go........and I went went went........crossed the finish line and it said 3:01:10..........I did it ( remember I was 1:30 behind in the beginning) all my work paid off and I was sooooo happy but never felt more alone at the finish........it was weird.........I just stopped and tried to capture the moment. and where is my friend that i left behind in the first mile? was she ok? I better stop my phone.......I stopped my runkeeper and the phone completely goes dead...great......can't even call anyone to let them know I did it!!!! this kinda sucks!!! OH GOD my feet hurt......ice yea.........chair yea.........ok MEDIC>>>>>>>>>> I'm sitting my feet on ice and some girl sees my socks and says oh yeah I had those nike socks they suck........yeah thanks........wish now that i hadn't just worn socks I'd never tried before. Ok sitting for like 30 min.........hey kid......give me a wheelchair ride back to the bag check........so he did :)......got my bag and just sat on the curb there and it started to hit me what I'd just accomplished.......soon my friend came and looked like she was hobbling like me.......she sits down and tells me that at mile 7 her hip flex-or popped on her when she twisted her foot a tiny bit on some unlevel ground and went to the tent to have it adjusted.........wow that sounds horrible......we get up and hobble to the beverage area and get a beer and head over to the smoothie tent mmmmmmmmmm beer and smoothies' not quite what i had in mind......we share a few tears in our accomplishments and proceed to find our bus and take the 1 hour shuttle back to hotel......where we get cleaned up and head to the resorts private beach where we spend the rest of the day soaking up all the sun and fun we possibly can.........then we wore our medals proudly that night........and I have to say to all the people in Jacksonville, THANK YOU for your amazing hospitality and your appreciation for what we endured............Can't wait to show you I can do it again next year......

Derby? what?

2010-01-21T14:08:00.000-07:00

So before i got pregnant i was on a derby league (WFTDA) if you wanna look it up. Yes people are doing this currently. Well baby is now 15 months and there happens to be a league in town, so i went to the recruit night (knowing in advance that i was not going to play derby but rather referee) Hubby and i decided my body was not going to allow another season of getting smashed into the concrete. I had bruised my tailbone really bad still cannot sit for long periods and jammed my right shoulder all in one bout. Needless to say I am committed to the time and effort i have put into my running at this point and don't want anything to get in the way of that. So without further todo about derby, I am going to check it out tonight and see if it's something that can work. It is def a time committment and i have to make sure Hubs is cool with it too cuz if my home isn't happy neither am I. I trust him to be honest, he's never selfish, so i know he can tell me without emotions what is going to work. Sometimes my running has gotten in the way but he would bite his tongue and grin and bear it, well most of the times. :) anyway I love him dearly and i know I can trust him. So yeah i get to get back on skates tonight. Yipeeeee that'll be a great way to get some serious cross-training in (see where my mind goes) supplement the run, supplement the run, I live an breathe running now. I've come a long way in a short amount of time.

On a side note: I've also decided to start tracking my calories again, as i have gotten off track and have started to gain again, not a lot but 5 lbs is 5lbs in the wrong direction. I will also pay more attention to what calories are going in, i never really cared before but it's obvious that even a few days of good eating and exercising has me bouncing off the walls so there has to be something to it. Less Sugar and Less "white" carbs, more whole grains and more veggies. i also added a Soy protein based powder to my lunch routine which is incredibly healthy and like 25g of protein 0 carbs. gotta love that.

I ran yesterday for the first time since the race and I have to admit that wasn't easy. I pushed thru mile 3 but managed to get 4 miles in. So glad i did that anyway.

I did it!! 10 miles

2010-01-19T10:28:00.001-07:00

So I had a race this weekend and here is my first official race report i felt worthy of typing up. We got there plenty early b/c we only had limited space to park in this area for us to be close to the start/finish. I went with a friend of mine that i'm running my 1/2 mary with in feb. (Jenn). So we head over to start line she heads to bathroom for 2nd time, horn goes off she's nowhere i start anyway then i catch a glimpse of her. She catches up sometime after we start thru the gate it seemed as tho about 200 people were there. 40+ degrees and i'm wearing t-shirt capri's and skirt, perfect! pacing with my friend thru mile 4 feeling pretty energized actually. I was feeling settled and she was not. She has up to this point done all of her training on the treadmill and i think it's showing. i stop when she needs to stop which has felt like every 5 min. then we get a to mile 2ish and i tell her we will run til the mile marker then walk a little. So we made it to 3 feeling like i wanna take off, but i wasn't worrying about time. I hear over my songs that we have just completed 3 miles in 42 min. getting down toward lake now and we will surely hit some hills in the trail i still feel really good , find a public restroom around then and she goes (i'm holding door and jogging in place) off we go again stop for a second at the 5 mile point for gatorade. I see now that my gps is red (damnit - lost signal) so i go and shut it off. She insists i go ahead without her. So i do, because it was at this point that i realize keeping with her may wear me out moreso than if i just continue. so off i go. Mile 7 was thru the trails and then there was snow and ice. No big deal i was expecting it at somepoint. feeling a little tight and heavy legged. I just push thru enjoying the scenery and trying to catch girl ahead of me. almost to eight........oooh photographer. i have him all to myself. smile.....off i go feeling re-energized knowing 8 is around the corner and that puts us back on the road. Mile 8 i get a text saying hi sexy and that got me revved up oh and i see that i'm at 2 hours exactly and that puts me on my usual pace of 15 min or less per mile, so off i go to catch this girl she's in reach. we both walk a bit run awhile walk a bit. etc... omg already i'm to 9 and couldn't be happier as this is as far as i've ever gone. Not really sore yet i'm feeling good, but where o where is the finish it's hiding. catch up to girl at the finish line. OK i know i was pretty far back there (5th to last) to be exact. Wow parking lot emmmmpppptyyyy. oh well i start to stretch and wait for Jenn.. the three girls we passed long ago have since passed Jenn and she finished dead last. But who cared right? we did it!!! she couldn't have been more than 1/2 mile behind me anyway. 2:23 was the time on the thingy and since my gps crapped out i have no idea how accurate that all is. I think she clocked in at about 2:38ish. We both were pretty excited to know that 13.1 doesn't seem impossible now. Time to go home rest up and then we needed to party like rockstars!!

Wrap up

2010-01-12T16:54:00.000-07:00

So i have officially finished the Hal Higdon 12 week beginner 1/2 mary training. I have to say that even tho i'm consistant and slower than most i've come a long way and i couldn't be more proud of that. I took a few slow weeks during the holidays but overall i followed the running portion of the training to a T. I certainly have room for improvements, ie the crosstraining portion i haven't begun at all with the exception of a few days here and there. So now that i have approx 40 days or 5 wks left until my first half marathon in JAX. So until that date i will continue to do 5 miles on tues/thur and long runs on weekends. I am doing his suggested 10 mile race this weekend and it will be the test for sure. I have been battleing plantars faciitis now more than ever, i've begun to ice after running but now i'm thinking i better ice everyday. I also read that i should ice for a couple of weeks after all symptoms are gone. I'm sort of new to this so had i known i would have been icing long ago. I just thought i had to live with this and that it wasn't cureable but now i'm reading that it absolutely can go away or at least subside. I am hopeful with some mild treatment it won't be as bothersome. I even got an overnite brace but in the middle of the night somehow i'd taken it off. YIKES. so i will attempt again this evening. I will report more after my race on saturday.

2010

2010-01-04T15:48:00.000-07:00

Missing my running buddies. His kids were great to me when we ran and i kinda think that i was an inspiration to them both. Now we are back to our house and it also means back to this hellatious altitude. I always find it a slow return process. the day after we were in the car for 3 days i decided no matter what i needed to get in a workout, and outside was not an option at this point so off to the community center only this time i'm getting in the weight room and then i'm getting on a bike. That felt awesome haven't been on a bike since my tri in Sept. got in 8 miles and spent 45 min in the free weights. then i sorta let a few days go by and then came the weekend and I knew i had to do the unthinkable- 9 miles. It was brutal. some sidewalks still snow packed and made me almost cry 2 miles into my run. Then it was ok after that altho the route i chose to do the majority of the miles was a skinny county road that had no shoulder so when cars came near i had to step into the ditch that at this time of year could be quite ugly so i was really tired of that on the way home i was just looking forward to sidewalks again. about 8.5 i just had nothing left i realized i had just done all of this on a bagel with cream cheese hours ago. hmm next time something is coming with in a pocket somewhere. did i mention the high on sunday was only 34 so it was a layering day too. made me really miss running at the beach house. When i was walking home in my sore and starving state I actually thought to myself "why do i do this?" "why is all this worth it". I'm not sure i'll find that answer but for now it's out there. Hubby says wow great job the race is only 4 more miles you got this, easy!!. Love him for that supportive statement.

Vacation Wrap up

2010-01-04T13:41:00.001-07:00

So many of you know my family rented a beach house on St. George Island for the week of christmas. We rented a minivan and loaded up my 9yr old, his 18 yr old, our 14 month old and off we went and only about 3 hours later than planned. 3 days on the road and 2 more kids pick up in New Orleans (his 23 yr old son, and 21 yr old daughter) we made it to the beach house. Managed to get in a 3 mile run one morning at hotel gym then we arrived at the beach house. I happily got up sunday and proceeded to race against myself and my old time for a 10K which was part of my training, but since there was no race in close proximity i timed myself. Mapped a course earlier in the week knowing that at the end of the island was an 8 mile park that i would run 6.2 of. His oldest daughter wanted to run 3 miles that day with me so when she hit half way i would wave at her to turn around. Well she set off like a ruptured duck in a hail storm, i thought now how am i gonna tell her when she's half way if i can't catch her. Ok it wasn't that bad, she was running about a 12 min mile pace and i was not all that far behind her when she stopped at about 1 mile to walk a bit i kept going and thought i'd just wave at her at 1.5 and tell her to turn around. well i did so and she'd already turned around so off i went strong and steady and since she set the pace i kinda kept it going and it felt great to be running at that level, I think a slowed eventually but i got back to the car and i hadn't gone far enough i stopped to notify her i had .5 miles left and i would be ready to go. I PR's by 10 min. pretty awesome in that short amount of miles. rested mon and tues i asked who was ready to run 5 with me? his son said he'd go. so off we went and his son let me set the pace and when i turned us around at 2.5 he went ahead at his pace. Wed i had no chance of a cross training day so i decided to run again. His daughter came with and we paced together until half way then we turned around i finished strong she stopped at some point to do lunges. Thurs morning (xmas morning) i went off to do 5 on my own, no takers. my body was hurting too. It took alot for me to get it in, i practically walked the last mile home but i took off my headphones and listened to nature it was marvelous to hear the ocean and all the birds that morning. I took this picture that morning.
So all in all i think i got 19 miles in on my vacation. Now back home for some more snow running.

Below Zero and Travel advisory

2009-12-09T09:08:00.000-07:00

So as many of you may or may not know i traveled to MN this past week and well let's just say it was a drink fest. I am not really sure what my problem is but i return home and return to my drinking days it's like I left 12 yrs ago and haven't changed at all. So i'm rather disappointed in myself and i think i planned to lose 6 lbs and instead i gained it in beer i think. ALTHO i did go to my Dad's in WI after 2 days and was excited to go run my 7 miles which i did do, asked my Dad which direction i should go as he's in a secluded part of the woods near a lake and a golf course ( i know it's absolutely horrible). So he suggested a route he knew would be nice and flat. (aahhh the things i miss about the north......flat roads) So off i go and i plan to make my way through the windy roads by the golf course and past the homes on the lake and i come to the road known as A yep gotta love the creativity of the natives. So off i go ( oh and Dad says before i leave, don't get shot it's hunting season) ha ha ha......off i go i kinda start to worry tho cuz i pass two seperate dogs wearing bright orange ........hmm self check......nope no orange on me. make my way to A that's one mile behind me. I run another 1.5 and i hear shots........shit seriously........turn around go otherway on A that's only another 1.5 and .25 to the main HWY so back up that same way 1.5 and back, and well if i do the math somewhere around returning to the golf course i was done........yay so proud i'm glowing. It's 30 some degrees and 4 o'clock i'm so happy......oh wait......phone just died......i'm a mile away from Dad's house are you kidding me this will end up being 8 miles.........damnit.....so i walk and i walk what seemed like an eternity......surely Dad will get in car and come to look for me as i told him no longer than 1 hour 45 min........nope......getting sore now and i've completely cooled off and it's soooooo cold out here, anyway i made it home sore for the rest of the evening and woke up and not sore at all.......sweet.......then the week went downhill from there.......drinks monday nite........drinks tues nite........drunk wed nite at strip club.........thurs time to go home and catch flight......no other workout done at all......
Take the weekend off at home knowing i was supposed to face an 8 miler on sunday. it's snowing and below zero i'm so not in the mood for this shit........blow off.....
Monday.....back to normal but snowing and below zero........blow off

tues.......below zero hubby at work all day......get's home at 6pm hand over baby and off to try new Gym, I am going to go run........little bit of sarcasm in my husbands voice as i leave immediately upon his return so out of guilt i cut my run short as i said i would be a tad over one hour.........got 3.5 miles done and boy did i feel like shit.....do not watch biggest loser, listen to ipod, take out frustration all in one workout.....equals disaster. But i went so it goes. so it goes. Today; Wed plan is to get on my eliptical 45 min and Do my Jillian DVD while my child naps altho she's changing her naps on me currently so i'm not sure when it will be but i will do it, i felt really strong when i got home last night and ate a great dinner. In looking back at my week, what i did to myself is so unforgiveable and so much like that old fat girl. I hated that. Never again will i allow myself to fall into my old patterns, time to make new ones there......

After the long weekend

2009-11-18T10:50:00.002-07:00

As I'm sure you can imagine the day i'm supposed to run my first 6 mile training run (you guessed it) 6" of fresh powder and not expected to lighten up all day. So i pull out my $5 and off to the community center i go. Because i am determined not to miss this and never ever put a long run off until monday. I did that one time and it was a brutal week. So yes i did it and i did not incline the TM either. I walked 5 min warm up and started out strong and slow walked at 1.5 miles for a minute then again at 4 miles for 3 min then i was off there was no stopping me or so i thought. I guess the machine had a mind of it's own. Yep it stopped at one hour so quickly record mileage in my head 4.25 miles and then remembering i had to run to bathroom after my warmup which was also .25 miles i hate doing math in my head in the middle of my run therefore i lose track anyway somehow in my head i said ok if it's .25 miles to cool down and i've done 4.5 already I need to clock another 1.25 in running so after i figured that out i ran. I finished in 1:25 min which is exactly what it took me to do my 10K earlier this summer so i felt pretty good about this especially cuz i wasn't even in a race just me and TM and it felt good. People always say it's really hard to get past about 3miles on a TM and i can see why. But wow can i sweat out a shirt in a gym.....lol....and not to mention my headband. drip drip drip. Yesterday (my 4miles) I was so excited that enough had melted and the day was sunny and about 47 degrees so off i went down what i thought would be a typical run. I miscalculated somehow thinking this usual path i always went would be enough. so i get to where i think should be half way and check my iphone and ooops i'm .5 mile off course so i turn into a neighborhood trying to keep it flat and start around the corner then another corner only to see a gigantic hill and no other way to go but up.........so i go and think well all this work will pay off when i turn around and get to go down. well i ended up getting close to home and it still wasn't enough so i turn down some other streets before heading home and i sprinted at the end to ensure i finished this time under one hour....59:37......YAY i'm getting faster and it was just like everyone said I finally broke my 15 min mile pace and averaged 14:47 i think which felt so great... looking forward to thursday and i read in my plan that i am supposed to run a 5K this weekend instead of another long run. how exciting altho i'm running a 5K on turkey day so i will run 4 on sunday and my 5K will be thurs (just switching it up a tad) but exciting never the less. My friend that i'm running with did all of her runs last week too so i'm proud of her. Not sure about yesterday as i didn't hear from her yet but she is doing the 5K with me. I really wish i could figure out how i magically found how to post a picture again. lol

Forefoot running

2009-11-12T11:53:00.000-07:00

Today is a new day i feel a new sense of energy in the air and i like it almost how you feel when you can smell spring is in the air. Well because i'm from MN i think for me it gets me hyper when i know it's going to snow.......funny but true and that's how i feel today. I have been reading and searching youtube about this forerunning and i have to admit when i ran 20 yrs ago i only ran for a short period of time but i do remember that once i started running on the forefront of my feet i couldn't do it the otherway it just never felt right it felt like so much more effort and low and behold all these years later it turns out it won't cause me any damage. I was so afraid back then that i would later regret running on the front half of my feet and well i guess as i can see it is a much more natural approach. I skipped my xt yesterday so i am about to double up today and you know what i feel like i have the energy for it, so i will do my high impact Jillian DVD and work hard for that 20 min and later this afternoon about 3pm i will run my 4 miles i've already mapped out. NO HILLS today. I'm so tired of having to run by my house because I am surrounded by hills and as much as i understand how important hill running is i'm merely a beginner and really just want to work on endurance for now. Hubby home from TX tonight so that will be nice welcome. I miss him when he's not here. So hard to convey in a short phone conversation how your day was. I'm used to him being around all day as his office is here. Found my 5K route for the Turkey Day so this weekend on my 6mile run i'm going to do the route twice!!! I think that's a great idea don't you? i'll have run it a couple times for confidence before the big day and it doubles as my long run. :) yea....

5K and 5 Mile weekend

2009-11-10T10:34:00.001-07:00

Those are two things in the past i would have never thought would come out of my mouth. Yah i ran a 5K on Sat and then training run on Sunday 5 miles. Well there it is. How can i be disappointed in that? My weight remains steady and still a hair above 200 like 209. ugh!! i'm trying not to stress about that too much, i'm having fun training and i know the weight will eventually drop off, i can see a huge difference in my clothes fitting and at this point even though i have not lost any weight in the past few months my weight is moving around. My face and chest and waist have all gotten narrow and my measurements show it. So i'm not going to complain about that either. We have been blessed with some great weather this week. I'm looking at another increase in miles this week which will be my biggest challenge thus far. I am looking at a 4 mile run today and a 4 mile run thursday and a 6 mile run on sunday.

My 5k this weekend: good things I ran with my friend, It was a beautiful day, I did run the entire way, bad things that hill at the end. my Time 41:07... seems that i will remain above that 40 min mark another race. Maybe my weight and my time are in direct correlation, maybe if i get under 200 i'll get under 40 min. LOL just a thought. Perhaps i'm afraid.

the 5 miles was a dedication to world run day which i did sign up for and got the t-shirt in the mail and printed my bib online and got my daughter to ride along with me. I thought for the 5 miles i'd go try a new area so i remembered that 5 min north of our house is a trail (paved) so off we went bike on the rack and child ready to ride 5 miles alongside me. We unload and off i go feeling good about just going. I settle into pace around mile 1 and then come some hills uh oh. so i run and i run and i run after that hilly nightmare i find us at the end of one trail leading us to a flat in a neighborhood not yet built, but all the roads in tact. I was like "YES" so i run 2 miles around the flats and finally hit my groove at about 15min/mile pace. Knowing that now i need to head back through the hills to finish. We take a couple pictures along the way and i'm using my new app for my iphone "RUNKEEPER". We made our way back thru all the hills which progressively got easier each time. I allowed myself to run really fast after the downhill parts just on this route back and it felt really fun, i'd never let myself do that, but i decided not to be afraid of tripping or slipping and just run flat out a couple of times you see i had a pacer on my app and i wanted to bring my average down from where it was at the beginning which was at like 16:40 something. (I can't have that be my average hills or not) so i finish and i'm thinking no way could i go further and you know what i think sometimes that is the goal of training. I gave it all i had and it felt great. I was only 1 min slower than the week before when i ran it on a comfortable familiar course. so I felt accomplished about that and it was for a good cause and a dedication to my angel baby of Aug 20 2009. Have i grieved that loss you ask? no not yet I'm not sure when i will but i know its all a part of getting healthy emotionally too. I bought this book that was recommended for women who have miscarried and i started to read the first little story and couldn't breath, well that was a few months ago. I will try to read it again soon i know it's an important part of the loss (grieving that is) On that note i will close and i'm looking forward to posting my results of training this week.

Cross Training

2009-11-04T09:38:00.001-07:00

Just a quick one today. Hubby out of town so I'm limited in what i can do, so thank goodness it's a cross training day because i can usually do these days at home. I have an elliptical machine and tons of workout DVD's some of which can be used with hand weights ie Jillian Michaels 30 day shred is a great one. It has 3 levels and all of them are 20 min long, as you get better you move to the next level and boy they kick my ass in 20 min. I love them. I have another one of hers that i have only done once. Trouble zones or something anyway it was so hard alot of pushups etc.. altho i last did it this summer so i've since gotten a bit stronger in my endurance anyway. You should give these a try as an alternative to going to the gym like once a week. I think i tend to stick to things that allow me variety.
Time to touch up hair too. Will do when baby is napping. :) Oh and making my favorite spaghetti tonight for dinner. Until next time....
Of course on a whim (sp) my friend begged me to do a 5K with her this coming Saturday. I said i'm pretty broke she said i'll pay for you just come do it with me. 2 sec. later ok. so i will again attempt to do a 5K and get under 40 min. I just want to prove it to myself that i can do it. I am not sure if i've discussed my weird running problem. I get all geeked up and ready to go and as i'm running i talk myself out of the race like 900 times. total self sabotage!! I have run most of my runs with a friend (not along side me of course because i get intimidated and fall behind somehow talking myself down) anyway as floods of people poor past me i tell myself i don't belong here etc.... anyway i don't want to continue down that same path and my last 5K was my worst. My step daughter -30 ran it with me and she was doing the 10 wk to 5k training to prepare for it. I'd already done 3 5K's a sprint triathlon and a 10K so i figured i'd have her in the dust. WELL wouldn't you know she finished like 3 min ahead of me and i had my worst 5K race to date like 42 min. I remember her at the beginning saying if you need to go ahead of me then just go you don't have to wait........well that was all she needed to say and off i ran faster than i should have started out and i felt myself get to that tingly all over fainting feeling and i had to slow down then and start walking and away she went steady and strong the whole way and i lost her this was a race for the cure so there were thousands of people at every level. I finally got my shit together near the end but it took me the whole race to recover from that errored beginning. ugh!! so let's see how i do saturday. wish me luck. :)

I did it

2009-11-03T19:11:00.000-07:00

Well sunday was the first time that i was challenged with my first 5 mile run and i was so excited all week that i already had a plan as to where i was going to run. However, more exciting news is that on Halloween i signed up for my 1/2 mary in FL. It will be on Feb 21, 2010 it's officially called the 26.2 Donna and half marathons so there i was so excited it's a commitment now. My friend that i am running it with has yet to show up to my house to run with me. Do i wonder what her deal is? yeah but i can only worry about me right? so i go no matter what i'm only responsible to myself in finishing she's doing everything she can and so am i. I am capable of planning for myself and if she's there it will be a bonus but as we all know we are in this mostly for to support a great cause and for selfish reasons.

Today i had no motivation whatsoever to go do my 3.5 mile run, however, as soon as i thought that i new i had to just get up and go get dressed and that once i was finished i'd be stronger for it. Of course supportive hubby said what's the matter you don't feel like running?" well then stay here with me. :) so cute and i understand what he means but NO i'm on a training plan. I will only get out of it what i put in. I am really finding it difficult to know what my times are as i'm running with my iphone and imapmyruns application so i only know an average at the end of it all and a gps mileage which has already come in quite handy. But i think I'm going to see the benefits to having a watch that will lay it all out. I think i'm not giving myself enough credit for how I am running. I don't even get splits. Kinda tough to gauge anything this way. By the end of the month though i've got to get one.
I've got to decide in the next few weeks if i really want to stretch out one more week of the current week as i'm ahead of schedule anyway and i feel like i still need alot of work even on my short 3.5 mile runs. Heck today's run was a perfect example. I got half way and walked up a hill and turned around and ran until i got to about mile 2.5 and walked again. So there are days actually everytime i run i do usually allow myself a couple of one minute walks. I wonder to myself if i'm taking it too easy on myself or maybe i'm really not ready to keep adding distance until i get the small runs under control. Gonna have to ponder that for now i guess.
I think i mentioned that i joined online weight watchers and that goes about as well as you might expect, when my husband is traveling i stick to plan pretty damn well when he is home i'm soo bad, i think this is normal for awhile i'm going to allow myself to give into some cravings but then get over it and right back to plan, sounds like my runs. I haven't talked about the 5 miler......i set my route first and new that when i got to the point of about 2.75 miles i'd be at a point where i could turn and head home it was at that point too i allowed myself to walk then there was one other one minute walk at around mile 4. But up until the 4th mile i felt really proud and honestly turned the corner and felt great, felt one hot spot under the ball of my foot and my left calf was a tad tight and even still is so i'm going to seriously use my cross training day tomorrow and do some much needed strength training with my Jillian Michaels DVD's and some yoga....Looking forward to that.

Thursday Challenges

2009-10-29T12:54:00.000-06:00

First off. wow haven't had this much snow in one 24 hour period since 1977 i heard. crazy....So a couple of things on my mind today. Why have i held onto this weight for all these years. Why am i self sabotaging my efforts by ensuring i stay about 200lbs? I think i may have made a break thru. Not really sure that i was ready to get rid of the excess because it would hold me responsible to maintain it. That is one thing. In the past i have lost it and then of course gained it and then some. So perhaps that is part of it. The other is emotional feelings of inadequacy in myself and from my parents. My mother carries an extra 100lbs and for my life i've heard my Dad complain about it, and when i was in high school some of those hurtful comments starting coming my way (of course i was about as average as you could get but perhaps he started to see a little more than i did.) Then i remember that i just dove head first into swimming and i really slimmed down quick.....i was lean and mean and tried anything to get his "good" attention. Well i didn't succeed and it brought feelings of self doubt into my future relationships. i would get their attention by losing the weight and then find out it didn't change anything so i'd gain it back, not sure what i was looking for exactly but i did it in my previous two marriages. My second marriage is the one that sticks out tho. I lost all my weight and then some while he was gone to saudi arabia and i was home caring for our newborn. He was gone only 60 days but it was in those 60 days that i felt so free to be me... weird.. i lost all the weight rather quickly no gimmicks just cut out all the fast food and extras and stood all day at work w/in 4 months i'd lost 50 lbs and was wearing size 6's and 8's i remember how great that felt but again the attention was weird. My husband at the time felt as though he was cheating b/c my body had changed soo much. So it wasn't long after that and i gained it all back. It's funny tho b/c i know how to get to RIGHT above 200 and maintain it. Well this morning i decided that i wasn't going to let it stop me this time. This time i want it for my attention!! I know my husband will accept me no matter what. And that he is the only one who was patient enough to sit down with me and let me get to the bottom of all of these feelings. The only one who has acknowledged that my childhood was NOT normal by any means. I love that about him. I also realized that I would go so far in a relationship pretending to be who they wanted me to be that i was afraid that once i gave in and became vulnerable they'd not like what they saw, and i don't even know where that came from but it's there like an 800lb gorilla in the room. Well i'm committing to kick that gorilla's ass out of my room. I'm looking forward and things look great!!!

Now off to call the gym and see if they are open, because i'm worth it!! I love my running!!

Snowed in

2009-10-28T09:17:00.000-06:00

I'm sooo glad i decided to push myself into running yesterday afternoon. I ran my 3.5 as per tuesday training on my 12 week Hal program. I never had a chance to run my 4 on sunday so i had to push it to monday and then they increased the mileage during the week so i found myself doing 4 miles monday and 3.5 on tuesday. But i honestly felt really good. I remember looking down at my iphone ( as i do not have a new watch yet) and i was at a comfortable pace and it said between 11-12.5 as my pace. I think i got motivated by that a little because if any of you know me, i just started running in march and i'm carrying 50 extra pounds at least so this has not been an easy journey. I still sometimes while i'm running and telling myself i'm a runner (over and over again) I look around and think wow i just ran all of this way without even stopping and it feels sooo good. I was falling asleep last night thinking of another time when i was 22 and running and i would MAYBE run 1.5 and think that was far enough. Funny isn't it when it gets put into perspective. Needless to say when i was 22 and running i did have good luck dropping the extra weight i'd gained from high school, i remember that i was also going to school full time, working full time and went to the gym at 10:30 everynite after school. No wonder that marriage lasted at all. ha ha i was never there. anyway at somepoint after i graduated and got my associates i stopped everything and then realized i wasn't happy AT ALL. That is the last time i remember being at goal weight for me was about 145. I remember feeling a great sense of self pride from losing 40 lbs that i had gained after a year of college...but being happy on the outside isn't everything........so i've been working on the inside ever since and now for the first time since i was that 22 yr old girl i can finally say I'm back.!! (which ironically was the theme of the biggest loser last night) (love Abby)........now back to the snow... I'm attaching a picture of this morning. I have already started to shovel which is todays cross training. I think i may have to make about 5 trips out to shovel and that's actually about an hour or hour in half total. so I think i'm good on my training for today.

Training week 3

2009-10-27T11:05:00.000-06:00

so I'm in week 3 of the Hal training and so far i love it. I found that after i finished my c25K this spring and then after that i started a 10 week newbie triathlon training that i'm definately more motivated and driven to succeed with a written or online plan. So after picking a half marathon next feb. 2010 i counted the weeks to train and found a plan appropriate for it. Well this one is a 12 week plan which will allow me to get thru the holidays and any other life events. I found a friend who is at about the same level as me and we are going to do the marathon together and do our best to run our long runs together. I will not try and bore you with all of my background but i would like to tell you that i have successfully made it thru every mile suggested in the first two weeks of this program. My husband (DH i will refer to him as dear husband pictured) travels quite a bit and i'm a stay at home mom so we have an 18 yr old in high school living here it's his daughter and my 9 yr old and our 1 yr old. I have been off work since she was born. It has been an amazing experience although i new i needed more so it has been a blessing on all sides for me to have found my running spot. I hope you enjoy and share in my journey as i take you to my first half marathon and beyond 40. Yes, there i said it I will be 40 in January. :)